My Whole New Locked Down World

Three years ago, I had a friend get diagnosed with cancer in February and she was gone that year by April 4th. Two years ago, my grandma was diagnosed with cancer in January and she was gone by that March. Last year, my dear friend was diagnosed with cancer in January and gone in March. I was dreading this winter. I was so excited to turn 40, but I didn’t want to lose another friend before the spring. The world shows up funny that way. Here we are, in April, and I haven’t had any friends get sick with cancer. I also haven’t seen my friends in weeks. We are all sheltering in place, doing our part to slow the spread of a respiratory virus. After my party in January, I knew I needed to schedule more time with my friends. They are so important to my mental health and happiness. I’m now finding myself trying to schedule zoom calls and texting to keep in contact. It isn’t at all what I was expecting.

The same is true for my fitness. I have already had a race cancelled and a dance show indefinitely postponed. My show scheduled for May is also being indefinitely postponed. The mother’s day breast cancer walk that I did with my mom last year is virtual this year. There were several times last year where she said, I’ll take that picture next year, when I’m a survivor and not still a fighter. Now I am hopeful that it will be considered safe for me to walk around her neighborhood with her, even though there won’t be houses with fun photo ops. I have no idea if my half marathon will happen in June, but I am training for it anyhow. I’m getting a long run in on the weekend, one or two interval runs during the week, and a go out and run too. As I have switched to online boot camps and my dance rehearsals are on hold, I am doing more boot camps than in recent past, a couple a day most weekdays. I am struggling with finding the energy to keep up with an at home dance practice these last few weeks. I am hopeful as the kids settle into this new school schedule that I will find time to step away for a ballet class or run through of a piece.

Today I journaled about my lack of meditating lately. It is affecting my mental health so visibly by the end of the week. This particular Monday, it has hit me already though. When I first stopped in person boot camp, I slept, a lot. I felt it was a mixture of catching up on years of decreased sleep and some “depression type” feelings about everything changing. Then I found myself not in a normal bedtime routine and staying up later than I liked, which furthered my struggle to wake up in the morning. Last week, I really started to hit a stride of waking up and getting some time to myself before Grace was clinging on me. I am resolving this week to make sure I journal and meditate before we start our day. Trying to do them while drinking my coffee as the kids start their day is not giving me the rest start. I am waking at 530, which it an acceptable sleep in time, in my book. That gives me an hour to ground myself before I see Grace. Twice a week, it gives me 30 minutes before I’m powering up the computer for my first boot camp of the day. That is still enough time, if I am productive about my energy.

Where have you made some positive changes to your daily routine? Where have things changed and the result hasn’t been as positive? Do you have goals for April, even if they won’t look like your typical month goals? I’d love to hear what you have to say. To support you in your journey. To help you stay your new course.